Taking a risk – Roaccutane (week 1)

Bad skin. Acne. For those of you afflicted with the same curse as myself, you’ll know how debilitating and horrible this condition is. For girls, it makes you cake on make-up you wouldn’t do normally, grow your hair long to hide behind it (which, ironically, probably makes the problem worse) and, on a particularly bad day, makes you want to just hide away in a dark cave somewhere. I even feel uncomfortable writing this post, and I’m basically anonymous! And for guys, I can’t even begin to imagine how you deal with it without the luxury of foundation - I think girls possibly have this one a little easier.

The problem is, if you haven’t suffered it yourself, it’s difficult to contemplate how hard it is for people with the condition. Especially if a person is able to cover it well, often people tell you that it’s not that bad and can’t understand why you’re so self-conscious about it. Or there are those that assume that you need to keep yourself clean and wash more often – again, ironically, acne sufferers probably keep their faces and bodies cleaner than the majority of the population in order to combat their bad skin. The fact is, it’s a horrible, horrible condition that really does have a negative impact of the sufferers’ confidence.

So, after attempting to deal with this for around 10 years, using various over-the-counter remedies (didn’t work) and prescriptions from the doctor (didn’t work), I was finally referred to a dermatologist, and have been put on Accutane (Roaccutane in Britian).

If you saw me on a good day, you wouldn’t necessarily think I had bad skin (god bless make-up). This made me question whether I was making the right decision going on Roaccutane. I was terrified of taking these pills beforehand, and actually still am. It only takes a quick search of Accutane to bring up thousands of posts from people saying ‘it’s ruined my life’, ‘I wish I’d never taken it’ and listing side effects I never knew was possible. However, people have to remember that, for every horror story, there are plenty of positive ones from people who say it’s the best thing they’ve ever done, and they wished they’d done it sooner. People tend to report the bad stuff, right?

With this in mind, and I think a pretty realistic view of the possible side effects, I am now 1 week into a  4 month course of Roaccutane (30mg day – my skin condition would probably be described as moderate).  So far – to be honest, there have been very few noticeable effects of any kind. My skin hasn’t really had any new breakouts this week, but occasionally I do have weeks like that. As for side effects, not many yet (famous last words, I’m sure). My lips feel like they may be starting to get a little dryer, and I’ve had quite a few stomach aches (but I suffer from these anyway – what good genes I’ve been blessed with!). I am aware it’s very early days, and am fully expecting the side effects to start hitting soon (I am armed and ready with Vaseline, lip balm and aquaphor!) so I’ll report back next week and see if anything’s changed. For those of you on it, I’m interested to hear how your experiences are. I’ll post soon too with products and make-up I’ve tried that have somewhat helped. I’d like to end this post by saying something along the lines of we’re beautiful inside and out, stay strong – but, I’m a typical reserved Brit, so to anyone struggling with acne or battling Roaccutane, chin up and keep positive, fingers crossed it’ll all be worth it in the end.

Basic skills in cooking – very basic skills...

So, as promised, I attempted my first culinary masterpiece today – a banana cake.  Okay okay, so this is not Gordan Ramsey-standard cooking, but everyone has to start somewhere! And let’s face it – it’s a skill level or two above mastering gauging the correct useage of water so as not to spoil a pot noodle...

Okay, so I may have pinched this from the Jamie Oliver website - but mine looked pretty similar!

Here’s the recipe I found for it in case some of you budding chefs (/some of my fellow catastrophic novices) out there want to try it:

125g butter

150g caster sugar

1 tsp vanilla extract

1 egg

3 ripe bananas

190g self-raising flour

60 ml milk

1. Mash bananas (I’d advise investing in a masher rather than a fork like me...took bloody ages...)

2. Grease and line a cake tine

3. Melt butter, sugar and vanilla in a saucepan over medium heat

4. Remove from heat, add bananas and mix well

5. Add egg, mix well

6. Stir in flour and milk

7. Bake at 150˚c (fan oven) for 35 mins (use oven gloves when removing cake from oven...just kidding, even I knew that one!)

I have to say, aside from getting caked in flour and banana juice, (and having my mum keep a watchful eye over me – i think she was scared about me demolishing her kitchen) I actually found this surprisingly easy – I think baking is definitely the way to go if you’re fairly new to cooking! I did enjoy the cake, but thought it was maybe a tiny bit bland and a little on the dry side, so maybe add a some more milk (that’s a bit of a guess). For the majority of the population who are more experienced than me, I’d suggest adding a topping of some sort for a bit more flavour.

Overall – possibly not a resounding success, but not a bad start to my cooking foray!

The life of an Amateur Graduate: Learning to survive in the real world and other essential life skills

Life of an amateur graduate – bit of a strange name for a blog isn’t it?

Like most new bloggers I suspect, I have just sat in front of my laptop for a good, ooh, half an hour or so trying desperately to come up with an interesting, witty name that might capture even just one person’s attention and make them take a precious few minutes out of their day to linger on this page. After failing to do so, I then thought I’d choose a title that simply reflects me. That took probably another 15 minutes on top of that. Have you noticed how difficult it is to sum yourself up in just a few words? Maybe it’s us Brits that struggle more with this! For me personally, job interviews that ask you to ‘describe yourself in 3 words’, or ‘tell us what qualities your friends say you have’ make my palms go clammy and my heart sink, and I’ll spout out something generic such as ‘fun, friendly, polite’ very unconvincingly (despite liking to think I do actually possess these qualities!) That question is usually the kiss of death for me.

So, back on point, I think the title of ‘amateur graduate’ sums me up fairly well. I graduated back in 2010 and, I have to say, although being a student was undoubtedly the best time of my life, it in no way prepares you for the real world. Yes, you work hard (usually), yes, the social aspect is great (I was unbearably shy before starting university and was slowly but surely brought out of my shell); but unless your future career path involves pulling all nighters with copious amounts of energy drink before a 9 a.m. exam, becoming addicted to Jeremy Kyle (despite your best efforts) or learning the rules to the ‘take me out’ drinking game, graduating from the student lifestyle can be a real eye opener! After growing up thinking that a shiny degree can take you any place you like, leaving university and entering the ‘real world’ in a recession is pretty daunting for most.

Saying this, I have to explain, despite being a hard worker and quite focused, I have been described on occasion as ‘ditzy’, and many of my friends have compared me to Bridget Jones (maybe I should tell my next interviewer that if the dreaded quesion arises!) so certain toils for me tend to be more pronounced! (A perfect example occurred just before writing this post as, while attempting to activate my ‘wordpress’ account, I inexplicably forgot my email password I have used every day for the past 3 years).

Therefore, this blog will document my experiences of cooking (I plan to cook one new recipe a week and, coming from someone who ruined a pot noodle, this is no mean feat), career struggles I’m sure myself and many other graduates are experiencing, and the hellish prospect (sorry mum) of moving home after university. I also will write more specific posts on my experience with taking roaccutane (anyone unlucky enough to suffer with bad skin will be familiar with this), reviews on health/beauty products, and generally write ideas as they come to me in the hope that some of you out there will find them interesting or helpful.

For anyone still reading – I admire your dedication! I’ll post again soon, so I hope you’ll check back in with me then

Gambling – why is it so, well, addictive?

Who hasn’t played the lottery before? We all do it, we all say we don’t expect to win, yet if we truly believed it, why do we spend our hard-earned money on it? Because somewhere, deep down, we do think we’re going to win. We watch the tv on a Saturday night (or check the numbers the next day for those lucky enough to have a life on a Saturday night!) and still get the slightly elevated heart-rate, tingling in your fingers whilst gripping on to your ticket, waiting for your numbers to flash up...and then experience the gut-wrenching disappointment when they inevitably never do. Or, very occasionally, the overwhelming excitement of winning £10, quickly followed by the comedown when you realise it’s still not the £1,000,000 you secretly hoped it would be. So why do we do it?

Well, I actually know (or, should I say, knew) someone who has won the lottery in the past few months. In fact, it was one of the biggest wins ever in Britain at £46,000,000. And I used to be in the same class as him at school. And possibly, even worse than that, I had recently been asked out by his best friend, who has just received a best-friend bonus gift of over £1,000,000. Sucks to be me! (Is it too late to get in contact do you think...?)

With another lucky winner having a large lottery influx just before my schoolmate in the same city, my hometown started being toted in the press as being ‘lucky’, and I began to wonder if some of this so-called ‘luck’ might have rubbed off on me. Which has led me, for the first time in around 5 years, to play the lottery tonight.

I decided I’d buy my tickets online (as it’s clearly too much effort to get up and actually go out mid-day on a lazy Saturday while watching old ER episodes back-to-back), but there was only one problem – you have to deposit a minimum of £5 and tickets are £1 each. I assessed my laziness, and decided to go ahead with this – I spent £2 on two tickets, and decided to spend my remaining £3 on the instant win online games...a rocky road, I’m sure you’ll agree.

However, I was amazed (or, deep down, was I half expecting/hoping for it?) to find that I began winning – very small sums, a £1 here, £2 there...until the big one. £5! Now, I had a dilemma – at £6 left in my online lottery funds, do I pay the money back into my account, or keep playing? Thankfully I did the sensible thing (bearing in mind, I am a graduate on a less-than-graduate salary) – I drew my £5 back out (effectively getting tonight’s tickets for free) and would play with the last remaining £1. I was sure to win, wasn’t I? I’d been on such a winning streak so far...

I didn’t win. And then I felt it – the mild disappointment, the small hole of emptiness of knowing that my chances of winning the big money had vanished and, more scarily, the desire to transfer more money in my attempt to win. At that point, I closed the site down, and hid my purse from myself until the sensations subsided, vowing to giving the gambling a break for a while.

Until tonight, of course, where I still have my two lottery tickets. And, failing to find myself a life this Saturday night, I’ll be there, in front of the tv, waiting and secretly half-expecting to see my numbers flash across the screen. Will I win? I doubt it. But there’s still that hidden part of me, deep down, that isn’t quite so sure...